All too often we look around and see our beautiful sisters being name called, degraded, belittled, and diminished by the same men the women before us worked so hard to bring into this world. There is this constant battle to be better than the next woman or to love yourself a little less because the world told you that you were not good enough. Queen Latifah once rapped the lyrics, “Who you calling a bitch?”. For those who are familiar with this line, ask yourselves why we have made it negative when a man says it but we are quick to throw the demeaning name at one of our own.
I remember not too many years ago, my younger brother who is eight years younger than me said, “Why is it that I cannot call a girl a bitch but her female or gay male friend can?”. At that moment I had no real answer for him that would justify why we as females had created this double standard for ourselves. Women have fought for so long to be accepted as equals in this male dominated world and yet we are just as much of our own problem as men are.
In a world dominated by social media platforms such as twitter, Facebook, snap chat, and Instagram it has become a societal norm to see women tearing other women down. Her hair is not hers, her body is fake, she’s too fat, she’s too skinny, she’s a hoe, she’s a prude, she thinks she the shit, she’s ugly. God forbid we say something good about each other. I know this is not the case with all women but it is the case for quite a few. I may piss some people off with what I am about to say but how dare you expect a man to respect us when we don’t respect ourselves. There is one too many men out here disrespecting us for us to not have each others back.
Behind every successful woman should be a tribe of women who have her back. We are all queens and should treat each other as such. When a woman becomes a victim of domestic violence who are we to make her feel less than she may already feel? When a woman is slut-shamed who are we to be in the crowd joining in the chants of calling her a hoe or a thot? When a woman is seeking power who are we to tell her she is incapable of being the queen she was born to be? Are we any better than the men who belittle women on a daily?
A woman with a voice is strong. A tribe of women with a voice is a power to be reckoned with. Women have the power to create, nurture, and transform. We are the makers of life and the carriers of Gods gift to the world. One empowered woman can empower a million women. It takes changing how we interact with one another and how we treat each other. It takes knowing that spiritually, mentally, sexually, and physically we are in control.
Little girls compete with each other. Grown women empower each other and hold their hand out to lift other women to their greatest potential. We have the ability to be who we want and what we want and there is no man that can control that. Our self-worth is greater than any negativity that you throw our way. So why are we dragging other women down into the mud? We are all beautiful in our own special unique way. Our intelligence is lethal and our strength is mighty. The key is not to have power over men. The key is to have power over ourselves so that no one can ever bring us down and make us feel less than we are.
All the pettiness and the bickering and fighting while calling each other out of our names has to stop. The spreading of rumors and lies to degrade the character of another woman is childish and little girl like. What are you teaching your daughters when they see that you don’t even respect yourself? What are you teaching your sons? The time has come for women to unify and start lifting each other up. Be positive and optimistic toward one another. If one of our sisters shows ignorance educate her not leave her looking stupid. If one of our sisters is making poor choices sit her down and help her see the error in her ways. If one of our sisters stops believing in themselves show them why they hold the highest value possible.
We need to be a voice for the women who do not have voices and wish they did. We have to be the pillars that set the foundation for our little girls to stand strong. We have to respect ourselves first before we can demand the respect of others. God made us strong for a reason and men know that a tribe of women can accomplish anything. People only try to control what they know has the ability to be dangerous when unified.
So to all my sisters I leave you with three words of motivation:
- Love yourself first
- You are beautiful no matter what society objectifies as true beauty
- You require the validation of no one but yourself.
Peace and Love Always